holding

“I’m gonna put you in holding” is a common phrase in the film world. It’s where actors are put until they are needed on set. Similar to a waiting room, a dry spell, or limbo.

Right now, I feel like I’m in holding.

Unsure of my direction, I’m waiting for God to show me the way. It’s peaceful. Being obedient and understanding the grand scope of life, nothing feels chaotic when you realize who is in control and how little control we all have. But like in a good way.

Today, I got my hair done by my good friend Nita. I love catching up with her and she always does a fabulous job. But it felt different than anytime I’d gotten my hair done before.

I practiced my songs. Took a nap.

I taught a private. Went to The Hunt House and played at the open mic.

Today, felt like things I’ve done before… but different.

Art can have different meaning depending on context.

It’s the same with life.

I’ve done all those things before…but without God.

Today, I felt God present in every moment. I was hyper-aware of my surroundings, who was there, how I was acting… There’s a level of certainty when you have Him in your corner.

Before, I’d have some anxiety around those situations. I’d stress over what I was going to say to the front desk or what songs I would play at the open mic. But now…I feel like I’m enjoying myself.

Life is supposed to be fun. We’re supposed to enjoy it.

God’s got us. He already wrote the story. He already knows what’s going to happen. What He has in store for us is inevitable. So, have fun. Enjoy your existence. You only get one.

I started bringing things with me to set. My game console, a book, lines to memorize, a sketchbook. Or, I’d chat with people. I started enjoying that “holding” time.

Yes, the seemingly fun part is when you’re on set and filming. Or on stage and performing. Or at the art show, standing in front of your painting.

But focusing on those things alone openly rejects the enjoyment of the process.

It’s just as fun to go to a fitting for your costume or write your music or choose your paints. Talk intention with the director, choosing beats with the producer, and painting the sides of your canvas.

When you’re lost in a new city, it can turn into a stressful situation or an adventure. It’s all about context. How do you view it?

When you’re unsure in your life, look at it like an adventure.

I’ll never get to live this part of my life again. So, why not enjoy it while I’m here?

Thanks for listening,

Perlizbeth