the power

…of no.

There is an inherit power in lack, scarcity, denial, rejection, absence.

I’ve been a yes woman for most of my life. As little Beth in Youngsville, NC if someone told me they didn’t like the way I did something or didn’t like what I was doing at all, I just stopped doing it. Being liked was more important that what I wanted to do. Fitting in was more important. Assimilating. Belonging.

Now, I know those actions were putting who I truly was in a literal cage of my own design.

Some celebrity tweeted once about how they couldn’t wait for the day that being nice was cool.

I recall thinking that was true. Like, heck yeah, people need to start being nice!

What I didn’t realize was that I was too nice. And that would never be cool.

So, I’m saying no a lot more.

It’s taken a while to get used to. But it’s growin’ on me, y’all.

I enjoy being a little rude.

Not in a mean way.

But in a way that stands my ground and fights for the little Beth inside grown-up Perlizbeth.

The little Beth told to stop drawing in class, stop singing around the house, stop dancing in public, stop laughing too loudly in a restaurant.

Oh, I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired of being told to stop.

No more.

Full speed ahead.

All gas. No breaks. No days off.

It’s now.

Perlizbeth