a sign

today i passed a sign in a window.

it said “a business with no sign is a sign of no business”.

i laughed. then i pondered it for a moment.

that was a sign, diba?

i am grateful to wake up another morning and have things to say. imagine all the people in the world who wake up with nothing to talk about?

yesterday, was a fun and exhausting day. i got to be on set with an artist i’ve never worked with before. i got the booking the other day and calmly told my friend, continuing on with my day.

i remember when a booking like this would’ve made my heart race, my thoughts jump, i’d be so excited i would barely be able to function…

i didn’t realize until i was reading my book later and one of the characters was saying how she’s uninspired. her friend said she had a ton of career goals which was her purpose and by completing those goals she also lost purpose.

i felt that deep and then it hit me.

i was no longer jumping for joy at what used to make me simmer with excitement.

i paused.

i am dreaming bigger than i used to. which means i’m growing past what used to motivate me. my destiny doesn’t stop here which means i can’t take who i used to be with me where i’m going. it’s not that she won’t be part of me, she just is not exactly who i am right now.

i’m taking life in stride. i know where i’m going and i’m no longer worried about getting there, how, with who. this used to make me uncomfortable. how could i be okay with not knowing any of the details?

i wanted to control what happened to me, how, why, everything.

and that grip was too tight.

me worrying helps literally nobody. especially, myself.

i’m out of control and i loooooove it.

perlizbeth