fortune favors the bold
My sweet friends!
I am so so grateful for everyone that came out yesterday to support my first ever live musical performance. I was so anxious and scared in the moment before I played the first song (and maybe up until the fifth song). I made so many mistakes with my lyrics, the melodies, chords, tone, etc. Despite every mistake, I still sang and played 10 songs on ukulele. And one song on my new guitar I got three days ago.
It’s Filipino American History Month and it always makes me reflect on where I came from and who came before me. I try to do this often but it’s especially prevalent in October. I like to think my ancestors were with me last night, guiding me along and trying to quell my tumultuous spirit.
I do want to give a special shoutout to my friend, Joshua Nathaniel, for curating the event and pushing for its completion despite a performer dropping out and car troubles. This opportunity was life-changing for me and wouldn’t have been possible without him.
Something that invaded my thoughts moments before performing was the notion of opinion. What others would think, what I would think, what my ancestors would think. Even what the internet would think once it was posted for the world to see. There’s such thing as overthinking on your own and then adopting other’s thoughts as your own, as if what they could think should have any real effect on your final decision. I wanted to move forward with the performance even after joking several times about just leaving and walking away. But, I won’t lie, it felt like I was going to die. That sounds so dramatic but if you’ve ever felt this anxious, I know you understand.
In these moments, I turn to God. I believe fully in God’s goodness and that every gift of expression I have is a gift from God. To follow this path is to follow God’s plan for my life. To look forward and ignore what other’s may think (including what I may think honestly). Run towards my dreams knowing God’s already set it all in stone for me as I continue.
Truly, I’m thankful for my friends that made it out! Mary Beth, Amber, Alex, Andrew, if you hadn’t been in the audience, I think I would’ve been even more nervous. Your presence really did calm me down and help me sing and play better. To all the new friends I made last night, I’m so honored you stuck around and listened to me play because you didn’t have to. You didn’t know me and could’ve left at any point with no consequence to yourself. I think that’s what fascinated me the most about playing yesterday.
At any point, even my friends could’ve chosen to leave but they didn’t. They stayed. They supported me and even told me how well I did and actually liked my music! People like my music. That’s crazy. So, here I am. I’m gonna keep making music as long as people keep liking it. I’ll be playing this weekend at Café Flōralia. I hope you can make it out! If not, you can stream my music anywhere, follow me on Instagram or TikTok to keep up with me, and keep an eye out for the next one~
And thank YOU for being part of my bold beginning.
Peace and Love,
Perlizbeth
