the loudest noise

Happy Monday!

Cheers to a new week and a new day. I hope you get to do what you love today. I am starting rehearsals at Stone Mountain for their Christmas programming. I’m super nervous but excited. I love Christmas and it’s a literal joy to get to share it with so many people.

Last night, after work, I rushed over to San Francisco Coffee Roasting Company for their open mic hosted by Arts Abluum. I was able to get my name on the list despite being 25 minutes late. Thank you, God! As the event started, the host announced who is up next and then who is on deck. When I heard my name on deck, my heart started beating so loud. It felt like it would burst out of my chest and fly through the room. It took over my senses. I couldn’t hear the current performer. All I could hear was my heart. Beating. Louder and louder.

To calm Izzy down, I hold her hands, look her in the eye and have her breath with me. Breathe in, breathe out. At least three big times. So, that’s what I did. Breathed in. Breathed out.

My heart felt like it was still going crazy. No amount of breathing, no matter how slow, helped.

I accepted it wouldn’t stop as my name was called and I walked towards the front.

I started playing and after the first chorus the mic feedback got so loud and the sound guy turned it off. I started over and messed up once with some lyrics but otherwise, I did almost exactly as I wanted. I also had written the song approximately 36 hours before performing it so there’s that. It’s so funny because I could always perform a song I’ve practiced more and had down better. But I wanted to express and share what was closer to my heart.

Next Tuesday, I get to perform two dance routines for an event hosted by AMB Sports and Entertainment. I want the same circumstance. To perform something closest to my heart.

That’s probably why mine was trying to burst out of my chest. It knew that what I was about to express was real, raw. What I wanted to share was as vulnerable as I could get right now.

That’s the light. The spark. That’s the music that keeps playing after the credits roll. The reason we get up in the morning. The glimmer in our eyes.

And I’m so glad I still experience it.

Peace and Love,

Perlizbeth